It’s a noble thing to want to remember other people’s names better. In fact, it’s one of the core skills we teach in the Dale Carnegie Course.
But, we want people to remember us too.
There is a lot we can do to remember the names of others. We can create name associations, start conversations, and practice using names on a regular basis. Yet, there’s seemingly little we can do so others do the same for us.
Or is there?
One Huge Obstacle
Of course we can’t control many of the factors that keep people from remembering our names. However, we have substantial influence over the biggest factor that prevents people from remembering our name:
Whether or not they hear it.
That’s right. The single biggest factor to you helping someone else to remember your name is to make it easy for them to hear it.
A lot of us say our names quietly, mumble through our last name, or speak too quickly for others to hear our name. We’re so used to our own name and have said it so many times that it’s easy to get lazy with it.
But the person you’re meeting for the first time has never heard your name…and very few people will ask you to repeat your name if they didn’t hear it. If you do hear people asking you to repeat your name, that’s a sure indicator that you can do better.
Here are three steps to state your name with impact:
When someone asks your name or it’s the appropriate place in the interaction to introduce yourself, begin with, “My name is…”
And then stop.
For a moment.
The pause keeps you from doing what so many people do: running the introduction into your first name. Before I corrected this, people would sometimes hear “Steve” when I introduced myself, because the “s” at the end of “My name is…” would run into the “Dave” and sound like “Steve.”
Once you’ve paused, state your first name clearly and then stop again.
You want a clear “part” between your first and last name. This means waiting another moment before saying your last name.
Placing a part between the first and last name means that they don’t run together and that it’s easier for other people to hear which is which. Make it easy for your audience.
If you have a first or last name with multiple words, use a part between each one.
Finally, be sure to punch out your last name.
Most people tend to lower their energy and volume when the get to the end of their name. You can avoid this by making a conscious effort to punch out your last name.
This doesn’t mean you’re going to yell, but you do want to emphasize your last name so people don’t miss it. Knowing your name is “Dave” doesn’t do much good later if they can’t tie it to a specific Dave.
Here’s How it Looks and Sounds
Here’s 33 seconds of audio on exactly how this should sound.
Plus, here’s a one-page PDF download of the 3-step PAUSE-PART-PUNCH process, so you can remember to use it in everyday interactions.
Where will you use PAUSE-PART-PUNCH today? Tell us the results you see when you help others hear your name, using this skill.
In addition, use this article as a guide to coach others who want to get better at this too. They can also receive future coaching guides by visiting our site.
Immediate Audio Coaching
- Episode 123: Express Your Opinion Confidently (10-minute audio)
- Episode 124: How to Disagree Agreeably (8-minute audio)
- Episode 125: Help, I’m Afraid of Public Speaking! (10-minute audio)
- Episode 126: Five Steps to Handle Hostility (10-minute audio)
All past episodes are available on the Carnegie Coach podcast archive.